Hello everyone! This week has been pretty eventful. Brother Anthony is a convert that has no teeth, a missionary got arsoned (is that a word?), we have an investigator that's had identity theft for 14 years, we accidentally let a family know that their son got baptized, I have a nickname from a guy that loves to nickname missionaries, we heard a story of missionaries interrupt a swat team, I got a horse and got to see some, and Mormon 9:4 works! And we had a baptism!
Okay, Brother Anthony got baptized 4 years ago. He's 70 yrs old and sooo nice. He managed to quit smoking by chewing gum. A lotta gum.... like he chews 4-5 packs a day. But here's the thing, he lost all his teeth due to smoking and he won't wear his dentures, so he gums his gum. Its so funny but you have to listen hard to understand him.
So a couple missionaries in Manassas (20-30 min away from me) had their apartment arsoned. Whoever did it placed rags soaked with gasoline along the wall to the furniture and beds, curtains and stuff like that so it would light easier, then set it on fire. Because the fire marshal had no good suspects, he put the two elders under suspicion and it was a loonnngggg process but thank heavens for Tiwi! (Our computer that tracks where we are and how fast we drive) because she was able to clear them. So we are all supposed to be really careful.
So Alice is a very....unique person. She's super sweet but she claims to speak in tongues and when she does, she shakes violently and spams, speaks gibberish then doesn't remember what happened. We are trying to delicately explain that the Spirit wouldn't do that. She had her identity stolen 14 years ago and her case is just barely coming to court. She has no driver's license or anything to get a job with or keep a job because the person is still using her identity. But somehow she has (so she claims) 15 million in the bank... she's just a little whack.
Okay, so Evan. Evan got married, got baptized because his wife was a member, got divorced, and promptly went inactive. We met him a month ago. We stopped by on Thursday to drop off brownies and it was dark. We got to the door and his dad answered. We asked if Evan was home, he wasn't, he was at basic training. His dad asked us how we knew Evan and we said we met him a month ago and wanted to drop off brownies. He looked closer and starting to laugh; he asked if we were Mormons and we said yes. He invited us in and asked how we knew Evan lived here. We said we have an app that tells us where members of the church live so that we can contact or visit them. He looked at us weird and goes "Wait, Evan's a Mormon?" We very slowly said "Yeess?" He goes "But we're catholic!" So long story short, we accidentally spilled to Evan's dad that he was a member and he had been a member for a year!! And he didn't tell his dad!! His dad was cool with it though. His mom however, might disown him... we called Evan on Saturday and apologized for ratting him out. He said it was fine because he just hadn't gotten around to telling his dad yet.
So Vince is married to a member and he knows the church is true but he won't get baptized! He has nicknames for all the missionaries. Sister Pugmire is "Thumper" because she thumped him over the head when he wasn't putting in effort to know the church was true; Sister Ray is "Tripod" because she stabilized the trio she was in before I came. And my nickname is embarrassing. But he dubbed me "Crusher". People here don't have good grips when they shake hands! Like what is with that??! They do this weird thing where they bend their hand towards you and you barely touch to shake hands. But yeah, he likes my grip so I'm "Crusher". I'm hoping I can get a different nickname...
Sorry it's a long email! Okay so the swat team. Evan's dad told us this story because he loves to help missionaries out. Well two elders got paintballed when they were proselyting some apartments and Evan's dad (I can't remember his name) went with a real gun to the guys shooting paintballs at the elders and told them to knock it off. He then gave the elders his number if they ever need anything again and promptly forgot about them. Couple months go by and he gets a call from the police station. They have two guys who said they knew him and wanted to call him to confirm it. Well he didn't remember so the police said that the two guys were Mormon Elders and after that, he remembered who they were. So he went down to the police station to get the story. The elders apparently walked right past a swat team down the driveway of a house they had an appointment with and when the team burst into the house 10 min later, they found the two elders and their suspect with their scriptures open! Hahaha they decided something looked a little wrong with that picture so they arrested the elders too. But they got cleared and were fine.

I have been missing my horses so we have been going to McDonald's to get happy meals so I can have toy horses. No I'm not 2, I promise. But Sister Pugmire thought it was sad, so she surprised me and got me a stuffed horse! Also we got to stop by a stable and I got to smell heaven and pet horses!!
Okay Terrance is a recent member who got baptized and went inactive. Well he blocked us on his phone and dropping off treats wasn't working. So, back at the MTC my district has this thing with Mormon 9:4. It's an awesome scripture. So my companions and I decided to write the scripture and leave it on his door. Guess what, he unblocked us, said sorry and came to church!!!
The Jacksons got baptized!!! It was so fun. They are a really cute family and so sweet!
Okay, sorry it's so long but hopefully you laughed lots!